sorry people. forgot to say something.
i didn't expect after a few weeks without pt, my arms and legs would be aching so much.
you know what i mean. i don't know what i'm talking about.
basically, few weeks without pt, friday have pt, arms and legs aching.
geddit?
but i still love pt. don't get me wrong.
tsktsk. knocked down. 12 mistakes. 60 push-ups. i actually enjoyed it.
yeah. i did.
gimme more.
knocked down 60+pt 30+nightly 20=110 push-ups.
many sure say i'm torturing myself. tsktsk. i know i'm not.
cus i know what i want and what i need.
and what i don't want and what i don't need.
and what i don't want to be treated like.
and what i like.
okay, getting out of point.
yeah, and my tummy hurts too. cus of the crunches.
i like crunches. i vented out all my frustations during friday's pt.
i was so emo, i cried when we were knocked down. really. only the tears were mixed with the sweat. yeah and during pt too. i was really really emo. emo until i really did the pt properly for the first time. my legs were, for once, 90 degrees for the whole time. no one had to correct me. i did everything with all the concentration needed. really i did. for the first time. i wish i had this concentration all the time. tsktsk. i even shouted loudly. only during the water parade msg said i was "talking to my boyfriend". that was cus i didn't want to deafen the a3 in front of me. yeah, and cus i couldn't lower my pitch low enough.
i'm reallyreally sorry, staff&sgt. we really have no unity. sorry for making you all so disappointed. i nearly cried during the "eyes closed heads down" part. had to control the tears. tsktsk. emoemo. superemo.
i guess no one cheers me up cus i keep all the emotions to myself. i guess one day i'll die of a heart attack cus everything is bottled up inside me. i guess no one even cares.
but whatever.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING. WHY MUST YOU TREAT ME LIKE A FREAKING PIECE OF SHIT? WHAT DID I FREAKING DO WRONG? WHY MUST YOU DO THIS? YOU THINK YOU'RE PREAKING GREAT? YEAH YOU CAN SAY I'M IRRITATING, YOU CAN SAY WHATEVER YOU WANT. JUST CUS WE KNOW EACH OTHER DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN FREAKING DO THIS TO ME. I'M FREAKING SORRY FOR WHATEVER FREAKING WRONG DEED I DID TO YOU. I REALLY AM. JUST DON'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS. I'M FREAKING HEARTBROKEN, YOU KNOW. HOW YOU FREAKING DON'T KEEP EYE CONTACT, AND HOW YOUR FREAKING COMMENTS SEEM TO BE DIRECTED AT ME. I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I DID. REALLY I AM. JUST STOP DOING THIS TO ME. THIS IS FREAKING TORTURE.