surprisingly, all the memories of QPS have gone. when i look around me, all i see don't remind me of QPS. all the memories are gone. don't ask me, cus i don't know why. all i remember is how we enjoyed our time at the camp, how we endured PT together, how we lost our sleep until 1am... i can't believe our time with the NCOs are ending so fast. i don't remember how we played in school, how we fooled around with the guzhengs, how we splashed in the pool... all i remember is how we got knocked down, how we got scolded, how we endured the climb up mt. everest with our dearest platoonmates and specs. i don't remember how we won the captains' ball competition, how hard we practiced, how we forced the boys to play against us, just to win. i only remember our "talk cock" sessions, our introduction sessions, our confession sessions, our "heads closed eyes down" sessions, how we got scolded for making our NCOs cry so badly. i feel hurt too, you know. i was actually crying inside when sgt randee was lecturing us. at that time, i just couldn't cry. it wasn't the right time. i admit, i had been taking our time with our NCOs for granted. i had not been treasuring our time together. now, i know its sort of too late to regret. but i am regretting. the camp has made me realise some things: that we can't rely on our seniors and NCOs forever, that we are actually not very pro, that we have to learn to rely on ourselves. i enjoy doing activities with our seniors. in the beginning, i did not expect the time with our NCOs to end so fast. i had thought it was still a very long time. like, if someone tells you, we still have 5 months to PSLE , and 6 months 'till we leave QPS, what would you say? of cus you would say: aiyahh, 6 months still long luh, i don't care. right? obviously at that time you won't feel that 6 months is a short time, cus you think you have all the time in the world.
i joined NC cus i thought it would make me stronger. i didn't expect it would make me more emotional. it made me cry easier. the thought of simply leaving our specs just makes me cry all over again. i know it sounds easy, to leave someone. but not 'till you do it, you will not realise how difficult it is.
i just can't bear to leave them. i just can't.